Can you feel it?

The air is thick with the pressure of expectations, the weight of obligations, and the burden of guilt at this time of year.

In Australia and many other countries, Christmas looms large as a time when everyone is supposed to get together and play “happy families”, do the right thing and follow certain cultural, social, and familial traditions. There are also many other religious and cultural traditions at this time of the year with similar expectations and obligations, and where guilt is often used to ensure compliance.

Unfortunately, no family get-together or tradition can ever match the “super positive projections” and expectations that many people place on them. Instead of conforming to the fantasy, people break the rules about how they “should” behave, and often end up “acting like themselves” which of course is unacceptable. Perhaps you do that too, breaking the rules over who you should be, where you should be when, and how you should do things.

The solution is not to give up on traditions and family get-togethers. The solution may be to do some tapping and releasing your emotional attachments to the super positive projections you have about the event or the season, the expectations (yours and others) of how you “should be”, and any expectations you impose on others to conform too.

The more we can free ourselves from the pressure of our own and others’ expectations, the more we can be free to do what’s right for us, and that will usually turn out to be what’s right for the others in our lives as well. If we choose to get together with others, we are free to enjoy spending time with them, as themselves. And if through our tapping we come to truly see them as they are, and that is toxic to us, then we become free to make other arrangements.

I release all my emotional attachments to the super positive projection of how Christmas should be.

I release all my emotional attachments to how X, Y and Z should behave.

I release all my emotional attachments to my / others’ expectations of how I should behave.

You will never lose anything that is good and real and true when you release your emotional attachments. All you lose is your suffering and your distorted perceptions.

Releasing your emotional attachments to the perfect positive projection is even more important if this is a time for you that causes distress and pain due to loss, loneliness, you or someone you love is suffering illness, or you face challenges in your relationships and living circumstances.

The massive difference between the positive fantasy and our own reality can be even more painful if we attach too strongly to the fantasy as being what “should be”. What should be is what is, and arguing with reality only causes you to suffer more.  When we start right here right now with what is, without judgement, then we can move forward.

So, release your emotional attachments to your judgements about your circumstances, and your comparisons of that with the fantasy of how things “should be”.

It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized. (I Ching)

If you start with or return to the simple reality of being here right now, you might even see the truth of Sailor Bob Adamson’s words, that nothing is wrong with right now, unless you think about it! I would say, nothing is wrong with right now unless you emotionally attach to a judgement about it.

I’m talking from experience, here. My father died on Christmas Day and tapping on my grief and the love of my family were what saved me. Tapping on my grief allowed me to experience incredible insights and memories, and profound thankfulness for his part in my life. I wasn’t tapping on getting the grief to go away, I was able, through tapping, to allow the waves of grief to move through me, and as they did the insights and memories, and positive feelings came on the back of this. You can read more about my experiences in this article I wrote at the time.

Christmas grief article

Also, my wife Louise used to carry the massive pressure of guilt and obligation linked to Christmas, and how Christmas “should” be, which led her to resent and hate this time of year. Tapping on her Christmas guilt back then has freed her to enjoy many guilt free Christmases since then. Not only did the guilt go away, it was replaced with an openness to opportunities for joy and fun which our little family still benefit from to this day, so we all continue to benefit from the tapping she did back then.

I know that a lot of people over the years have been inspired by reading about what Louise did, so I’d like to again share the articles she wrote on it. You will find the first one here, with links to the original:

Guilt-free Christmas

Sue Hughes, one of our Intention Tapping mentors, also wrote an excellent article with tips for using Intention Tapping to release your Christmas upsets and angst. You will find it at this link:

Releasing Christmas angst

I’d like to wish you a wonderful Christmas, however I’m aware that my doing so might be a trigger for you. Besides, you may not even celebrate it, you may even decry it. So, my wish is that you tap and use Intention Tapping to release the weight and pressure of judgements, beliefs, expectations, guilt, and anything else that might get in the way of your experiencing joy right here right now, and throughout this time of year.


Steve Wells

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