By Steve Wells
Like many of us you may have found yourself getting upset by what’s happening in the world recently.
If so, I hope what I've written here can help you to manage those emotional upsets better.
Apart from your own emotional reactions to what's happening, you may also be seeing the whole range of other people’s emotional reactions being aired - and “shared” - on a regular basis.
Anxiety and fear are the most common, probably followed by outrage.
And that’s completely understandable. There is a lot to take in.
However, maybe you’ve also found yourself, like most people, trying to do something, anything, to rid yourself of those negative emotions: Medicate them; Numb them; Deny them; Avoid them…
Anything other than allowing yourself to actually feel your feelings.
Or, more correctly, the feelings of your emotions as they move in your body.
That’s understandable too, since negative feelings feel, well, negative!
But here’s the thing. When you try to get rid of your feelings or medicate your feelings or numb your feelings or avoid your feelings or even tap away your feelings you end up suffering more. What you resist persists.
The end of suffering is through not away.
Or, more correctly, to; as in towards truth.
My mentor Frank Farrelly used to say the human soul needs truth like the human lungs need air. Truth is what liberates, truth never binds.
Truth begins with accepting that what is happening is what’s happening. And accepting and allowing your feelings about that to move you and move through your body.
That’s how you manage the big things that happen in life, by accepting what is and allowing it to move you; allowing the feelings it brings up to move through you. This is what empowers you to incorporate it, adapt to it, learn from it, and, where possible, respond to it.
That inner flow leads to outer flow.
I believe the capacity to be “in the flow” with life, to manage whatever is happening to us, comes from responding to reality as it happens, rather than denying it, avoiding it, blindly lashing out at it, or being defeated by it (or our perceptions of it).
Acceptance of what is happening is perhaps the only time we are truly empowered to deal with life, we access our power through the truth of engaging with what is from where we are, here, now.
And part of that acceptance begins by accepting that we are human beings with feeling bodies and that these feelings are occurring in our body/bodies right now.
So, if you are feeling strong feelings, rather than being upset at yourself for having those feelings or trying to get rid of those feelings, start by accepting and allowing them to be there, then see if you can allow them to move you, to be moved by them, to let them move and flow within and through your body.
This is what we do in Intention Tapping.
Rather than trying to rid ourselves of our feelings or “tap them away”, we start by simply noticing what is happening, where it is happening, and how we are aware of it, whether “it” be thoughts or feelings, or both.
If it’s a feeling in the body, we use intention and tapping to encourage and allow that feeling to move and flow in the ways it needs to move and flow.
“I restore the right energy flow to this feeling / emotion.”
It’s akin to saying I accept this feeling is there and I encourage and allow this feeling to do what it needs to do in order to fully process what is happening or has happened to me. And that processing occurs within and through your body in some way.
And when we do this with the Intention Tapping the entire process is much gentler and pain-free.
We do the same thing with the thoughts that are hooking us, we release our emotional attachments to those thoughts so that the energy caught up in them can return to flow.
When you attach your life energy (or have it hooked) to thoughts such as “this should not be happening”, or even worse “this is not happening”, when it really is happening, your energy is taken away from the truth of the present moment and the flow of energy in your body is disrupted, causing you to suffer.
By releasing your emotional attachments to “what should be” using intention and tapping you allow your feelings to return to flow AND the thoughts to return to being just concepts and projections (which is all they really ever are).
Stuck feelings lead to stuck perspectives.
When your feelings start to move, your thoughts become less bounded too. Your thinking expands to incorporate a wider range of perspectives - rather than only one disempowering one - and you return to the truth of your unbounded awareness in the present moment.
So, if you find yourself emotionally attached to a thought or belief about how the world should be which is different to how it is, use tapping and an intention like this to start to release that emotional attachment:
“I release all my emotional attachments to the belief that x should be happening / not happening.”
Typically, if you keep tapping and wait a few moments you will then notice a movement in your body as the energy pattern that was frozen along with that stuck perception starts to move and return to flow.
The movement of energy which then occurs may cause you to yawn or sigh, and in some cases to shake or shiver, which is the body's natural way of releasing and discharging the stress and trauma which was held in your muscles and cells.
As you continue this process and progressively release all your emotional attachments and restore the energy flow and balance in your body wherever it has been stuck or disturbed, you slowly yet surely begin to return to your natural state.
Your consciousness expands to a new level which can incorporate the big things that are happening or have happened, rather than leaving you stuck in disbelief, denial, and suffering.
Another way of saying this is it restores you to the truth, the only truth of which you can be sure: Your being where you are, in this moment, in your body, embodied, and inspired by the normal and natural movement of your breath and life energy.
Here’s an example of what this can look like, firstly from Helen a participant in one of my 100% YES! groups:
I want to report that I have been doing a lot of reflection about what’s important to me, plus questions such as, what am I grateful for? What feeds my soul? How do I want to be living each day? Who is most important in my life and lastly what have I learned about life? I am slowly getting there and feeling good about myself!
I want to also say how valuable your teaching has been! Yesterday we heard news that our dear neighbour (67) my age dropped dead suddenly having lost her husband six months ago! The last thing she said to us was “Have a great holiday, catch up with you when you are back”. We loved her, she was bright, fun loving, beautiful looking, vivacious, very kind and loving.
I had the potential to crash however I began tapping, letting go of my fantasy that she shouldn’t have died, life is unfair and other attachments to her death, my own fears around dying and restoring the right balance to my sadness and broken heart. It also took me back to my brother-in-law’s sudden death last year. Although feeling sadness for her family, I feel okay!
And this, from Aanchal:
In the second session, even though you worked with me briefly (10-15 mins), I had a huge breakthrough in moving through one of my biggest patterns.
'm a very feeling person so I find myself feeling overwhelmed and bulldozed by own emotions often, especially anger/frustration/grief. This happens after I’ve done intense self-healing work and a lot of emotions come up to be processed and released or sometimes happens in response to a seemingly benign event and I have an overwhelming urge to run away, numb myself (by overeating or binge watching tv) and self-abandon.
I was feeling very much like that during our session and during the day before our session. Towards the end I felt like I had a volcano of emotions inside me and as you coached me to release emotional attachments, observe what was going on, and stay in my body, I calmed down immensely. I didn’t abandon myself!!
I’m very excited to see how this will change my life going forward as I get more and more comfortable with being with my own intensity of emotions.
Thank you so very much for the great work that you do. I’m very happy to be in the coaching program!
A final word from Steve:
Don’t be afraid to let life move you.
Movement is life.
If you want to experience Intention Tapping for your own transformation or you want to learn it to help others, or both, we have some opportunities coming up soon.
Phone: +61 (0)8 9271 9271
Postal Address: PO Box 54, Inglewood, Western Australia, 6932